Monday, August 12, 2013


Sometimes, life is just plain hard. Last week and especially this weekend proved that.

Disclaimer: if you're looking for a happy weekend recap, this is not it. 

As you may have noticed, I was semi-absent from the blog and social media towards the end of last week. Thursday started off rough with me feeling pretty sick and ending up leaving work early that night because I could barely sit up to answer the phone.

While I was at work, Christian was at the hospital. His best friend's dad has been sick since the end of April and in the hospital since May. As of last weekend, he had been given about 6 months and we thought he would at least get to come home for a little while.

Sadly, this wasn't the case. Thursday morning they were told it was actually Stage 4 lung cancer and he had less than a week. Christian spent most of Thursday at the hospital with is best friend and family. I had every intention to go see him Friday morning with them so that I had a chance to visit and say good-bye, as well.

Unfortunately, we received the news very early Friday morning that he had passed. I think we were all in shock. Christian wouldn't really say anything and I had no idea how I was supposed to handle it. We tried to sleep for a couple more hours, but we finally just got up and went to his friend's mom's house to see the family. They've been divorced for years but they're best friends and her kids with her current husband call him "Uncle Thomas" and the whole family is so close. 

All of us went to breakfast together. After breakfast, we threw the ball around before heading to the funeral home to decide on final preparations. They both (Christian and his best friend) were handling everything so well, that I kept asking Christian every hour or so how he was doing and what can I do to help.

We made sure to just stay busy all day and I think the boys really needed that. We decided to get dinner at Taco Mac and his best friend finally opened up saying he doesn't want to just sit and mope. He knows his dad is no longer suffering and he would want him to be happy and celebrate his life so he was trying to do just that.

Saturday was worse, though. We drove out to his house to start cleaning it out and saving everything he wanted to save. Christian became in charge of going through all his mail and paperwork to help get everything organized for bills, insurance, etc. His girlfriend and I were in charge of clothing making it to Goodwill. The boys had a couple friends come out to help, too.

It's very interesting to see how different people (especially boys) handle these sorts of situations. You could tell no one really knew what to say so we all just worked really hard. His girlfriend and I would talk about it when we could, but the boys still acted like it was completely normal. I'm not sure if they're still in shock or if they just don't know how to talk about it.

Girls are usually very vocal and emotional, so trying to learn how to help Christian deal with something like this is a challenge. I want to sit and talk about it and he just shuts down. So I'm trying just to be here and supportive and do anything I can to help with preparations or paperwork.

Thomas, I have so many hysterical memories with you from rugby games and crazy weekends in Boone. You always provided a good time and I know how much the boys loved and respected you. I will always admire the way you loved and supported Travis and Christian and I hope one day, they are the same way with their kids. I promise to keep and eye on them and I know you will be, too, up there drinking a beer and watching some rugby. Rest in peace. 

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Erin LFF said...

Leslie, I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your friend's dad. I'll be thinking of Christian, and Thomas' family as well. So glad it sounds like there is a strong support system there... praying for you guys!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, cancer is hard hard hard. My grandfather died of lung cancer a few years ago, it's such a horrible disease. :(

The Lady Okie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Pleas(e) and Carrots said...

I'm truly sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful and loved man. Praying for you and everyone else who love him.

Becky said...

Aw Leslie I will be thinking of his family, Christian and you! I'm sure your constant support means a lot to Christian. You're very right about the differences between girls and guys. Lots of prayers!

Amanda said...

I'm sorry :( You and all of his loved ones are in my thoughts!

Allison said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Leslie. I'll be praying for Thomas' family and Christian as well during this time.